How to Give Better Blowjobs

I used to be one of those people who hated giving blowjobs. It wasn’t until I realized the power a blowjob can have over someone that I really learned to love giving them. Once I came to terms with being a pleasure dom, I started spending time really learning how to give a better blowjob. I wanted to turn my partners’ brains into mush from my head skills. Since improving my game, I’ve gotten more compliments about my blowjob skills than ever before, and I’m ready to help you up your game too. 

A good blowjob should make your partner weak, it should make your partner shake, it should drive them absolutely wild. If the blowjob isn’t the end goal of how you want your sexy time to go, then a blowjob should make them hungry for more of you. Whether a blowjob is the appetizer, the main course, or the dessert, let’s dive into the art of giving a blowjob! 

Before you go down, remember that foreplay is a delight. You have the power to drive your partner crazy. You have the power to get exactly what you want after a blowjob. Put in the effort that you want to receive in return, and tell them that’s what you want.

Let’s talk about techniques!

The number one technique you’ll need? Enthusiasm. Before your mouth is on their cock, tell them you’ve been thinking about doing this all day. “I caught myself daydreaming about sucking you off” is going to instantly set the tone for how excited they perceive you to be. Your skills matter, but your enthusiasm will ultimately matter more. Show your partner how you can’t keep your hands off of them, show them how hungry you are to touch them, to pleasure them. 

Aside from telling your partner about how you’ve fantasized about touching them, what are some other ways you can show your enthusiasm? 

• Initiate touch frequently
• Pull them in for a deep, passionate kiss
• Pull them into the bedroom, or wherever you’re planning to do the deed
• Push them onto a bed or couch, then pull their pants off
• Wear sexy lingerie 
• Talk dirty, or sext leading up to the time you can finally be alone together

The second technique you’ll need? Tongue action. I don’t just mean running your tongue from the base of the cock up to the tip, though you should absolutely do that while making eye contact. I mean using your tongue to tease and please. Lick the tip of their penis gently, because the tip of the penis, or the glans, is often the most sensitive part of a penis. Whether or not your partner is circumcised, then licking the bottom side where the back of the penis head connects to the shaft, called the frenulum, is also very sensitive. 

Use your tongue to lick the vein that runs along the underside of their penis before swirling your tongue around the tip of the cock. The wetter your mouth is for this, the better it’s going to feel for your partner! 

If you struggle with dry mouth, you can eat a spoonful of honey or chew a piece of gum beforehand to make your tongue a bit more wet. Another trick is using a flavored lube, which may also help you produce more saliva. If your partner is into spit or sloppy blowjobs, let your spit gather on your tongue as you lick the tip and shaft, then pull away and let them see the string of spit connecting your tongue to their penis as you smile seductively. 

You can also deep throat to stimulate your gag reflex, which will in turn make you produce more saliva as well! But keep in mind that not everybody is into deep throating, so make sure you’re communicating with your partner what they prefer. 

Deep throating is another great technique! It’s an advanced technique, but for the people who enjoy getting deep throated, it’s a very effective one. Deep throating isn’t just taking a penis to the back of your throat, it’s also using your throat muscles for extra stimulation. 

If you’re not sure how to use your throat muscles, practice this while you’re in front of a well lit mirror so you can see the back of your own throat:

1. Open wide
2. Stick your tongue
3. Start making “glucking” noises. You can say the word first, then try to repeat the word without your tongue - instead use your throat to make the sound
4. Feel and see the way your muscles move
5. Practice making these noises until you feel confident that you can do the same thing on an actual penis. If you need practice doing the actual action, grab a dildo and practice “glucking” on that as it hits the back of your throat. 

When deep throating someone’s penis, this glucking muscle movement will take your deep throat game to the next level as the tip of their penis will get extra stimulation from your throat muscles. If deep throating is difficult for you, the giver, try sticking your tongue out as you’re sucking and glucking. 

Don’t just use your mouth! Hands and fingers are an important technique too! Hands especially are helpful for blowjobs because they help keep the penis where you, the giver, need it for your own comfort. Beyond that, stroking a penis while using your tongue or mouth on the tip is the dual stimulation your partner may need to drive them over the edge! Make sure you’ve got plenty of saliva or a lube to help, but maintain a comfortable grip as you slide your hand up and down in motion with your mouth, or have your hand & mouth meet in the middle. 

Your hands don’t just have to touch the shaft though! Try using your hands to gently caress or squeeze their balls, or using fingers to rub their perineum. Some people like pressure on their perineum, some prefer rubbing. Either way, the goal is to give them prostate stimulation without penetration. If your partner enjoys anal penetration, using a finger to give them a prostate massage or finger their hole while giving a blowjob is an advanced technique that will drive them wild! 

Still want to take your blowjobs to the next level? It’s time to add toys to your technique! Grab a toy and use it on your partner in tandem with your mouth! A vibrator like Fun Factory’s Manta is the perfect size and shape to allow you to stroke your partner with the vibe as you use your mouth. Orion’s Your New Favorite Penis Vibrator is also a great way to pair vibrations with a blowjob to send your partner to the moon with pleasure. It can take a lot to give a blowjob and use a toy at your partner, so give yourself the patience to get accustomed to it. Even if you have to stop one or the other for a few minutes to regain composure, don’t stop stimulating your partner. Practice makes perfect here! 

If your partner is into anal stimulation, try inserting a butt plug for them! Or use some anal beads to slowly pull out of them over the course of a blowjob. If you’re feeling up to the challenge, try using a wand vibrator on their perineum. This can get a little tricky, depending on positioning of bodies, but it’s worth trying to give your partner some external p-spot stimulation along with that glorious blowjob you’re giving them! 

Despite the fact that “job” is part of the word “blowjobs”, don’t think of giving a blowjob as work! You want to please your partner, you’re hungry for the taste of them in your mouth, you want to watch them tremble and hear them moan because of your skills. And to revisit what I said earlier about enthusiasm, even if you don’t have the confidence in your blowjob skills, remember to show your enthusiasm! Enthusiasm for giving pleasure will make any blowjob better than a lack thereof. 

Now, get out there and put these techniques to work! You are going to give an amazing blowjob to a very lucky person, and they’re going to be over the moon thrilled that you initiated the pleasure. Make their toes curl with your sexual prowess and wet mouth. And don’t forget to practice, practice, practice!

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Sydney Screams (she/they) is a plus size adult performer, cat parent, and potato enthusiast. She believes in creating inclusive, sex positive content that depicts pleasure in an authentic and fun way, without fetishizing or stereotyping her scene partners. Her goal is to educate her fans, colleagues, and friends that pleasure and love are for everyone, regardless of gender, size, sexuality, disability, or race. Follow Sydney on Twitter, Instagram, and her blog.